This week’s guest is Brian Shutter. We talk about Neon Lords of the Toxic Wastelands. Swingin’ swords and choppin’ lords vs. mutants and mullets. Gonzo vomit punk cassette-futurist RPG. New adventure Space Bulk involves interstellar space trucks around orbital space stations.
Brian does a show called “Wax Pax Massacres” where they open old trading card packs and eat the 40-year-old gum from it. New show Spin or Die with old gumball machine toys. We talk Homies™, glow in the dark aliens & bugs, bootleg Madballs™ buttons, glow-in-the-dark bugs, and gel Gundams.
Neon Lords of the Toxic Wasteland “Total Carnage Edition” had a successful Kickstarter!
In this game, character creation’s most important aspect is your hairstyle and sunglasses. “Attitude” is how cool you are in civilization, but sleaze (anti-charisma) is how much respect you get in the Wastelands.
Follow Brian on Facebook – Instagram – Twitter – YouTube and check out Brian on GWAR’s podcast
Gross-o-matic 4000, the number one tourist attraction of Dusseldorf: This steam-powered Rube Goldberg gumball machine takes up the whole room and works like this: Insert one gold coin – dominos fall – an accordion hits F# – a goat screams – an infernal chicken squawks and lays an egg that is the plastic capsule – a giant axe swings down to cut open a thin gel (save or take axe damage) – the capsule plops through the gel and onto the floor… better catch it.
Instructions on the wall: To reset the machine summon Cluckstohpeles “The Demon Feather of Dusseldorf.” He’ll only come once an hour.
Hans Von Hosenscheißer: This simple farmhand works hard, saves his money and plugs every coin he makes into this machine. He has lots of items and is willing to trade, but the only thing he wants is the Savage Barbarians’ Dolf Brazenstein card to grant him courage to ask his true love on a date.
D12 prizes:
1) Sea monkey spores, snort like a drug.
2) Baby gelatinous cube.
3) Face hugger xeno egg.
4) Crusty ogre snot like play-slime, silly putty.
5) Stretchy frog with slap-hand sticky tongue.
6) Savage Barbarians trading cards volume three with ancient sentient gum.
7) Ear spider that bites your eardrum to translate languages, one damage.
8) X-Ray Spex: glasses that can peel the skin off of whatever you look at.
9) Worms: bait for reverse mermaids, fish on top half.
10) Scratch and sniff stickers of various species’ baby diapers. Adhere to a surface, scratch and 30 foot radius of sickening.
11) Painful temporary tattoo of hideous monster hula girls, actually permanent.
12) Cyclops eyeball in blood brine. Eat it to grow a 3rd eye, gain 24 hours of true sight and attacking enemies crit on an 18.
Savage Barbarians Trading Cards: These one time use cards will give you an advantage while holding it in a specific situation. Roll a d12 to determine which card is in your capsule.
The complete set:
- Dolf Brazenstein: grants courage.
- Wilhelm Wildefelle: grants ferocity.
- Otto Wildetunika: grants savagery.
- Heinrich Unzivilisiertepelzstiefel: grants bonus to be rude with added ‘tude, dude.
- Friedrich Leichtsinnigehosen: grants bonus to reckless behavior.
- Franz Starkeknochenhalskette: grants physical strength.
- Gustav Wildarmschienen: grants the companionship of one wild beast.
- Elsa Aggressivesstirnband: grants aggression.
- Erna Stolzesarmband: grants pride.
- Fritz Strapazierfähigergürtel: grants resilience.
- Frieda Primitiverrock: grants primitive regression.
- Berta Einschüchternderohrring: grants intimidation.
Art: Tiger Wizard Words: Steve Albertson
Story by: Andrew Bellury, Steve Albertson, Brian Shutter
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Thanks for listening to Season Two of the Epic Levels Mad Dungeon podcast, where D&D hip hop group Epic Levels and a guest create a system-neutral, playable dungeon room using improv, comedy, and lifetimes wasted on roleplaying games.
Let us know if you run this or any of our other adventures and use the hashtag: #maddungeon
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The Epic Levels Mad Dungeon podcast is hosted by Andrew Bellury, Rob Bellury & Steve Albertson, and produced by Zach Cowan.
Theme song by Epic Levels and beat by Inner Resting AKA Mason Grant who also makes tabletop games that you can purchase at Gamma Wave Games.
© 2023 Epic Levels. All characters in this adventure–even those based on real people–are entirely fictional.