MD 406 – GART: Goblin Art Collective w/ CJ Somavia (GLAIVE, Grand Rituals, Hothead Collective)

MD 406 – GART: Goblin Art Collective w/ CJ Somavia

GART is a collective of murderous, vapid, goblin hipsters snobs. This dark ensemble is always fighting amongst themselves about what the full name of their crew should be, while working towards an enigmatic and insidious end goal. They inhabit gonzo urban centers where they can bring the chaos and mayhem of their art to a population before moving on to the next city.

1. Bushwick Billy – Has a streetwear brand, magazine and physical store called BILE. His performance art: One, he carries a bag of colorful junkfood, eats it, then vomits those colors on your shirt and shoes. Two, he takes your clothes by force. Three, he creates a visual display of your clothes at his shop where he sells them for an obscene sum.

2. Greenpoint Gary – This performance art skateboarder douche does pop shove-its into your ankle or ollies onto your toes… although, he’s incapable of doing a kickflip. He’ll challenge you to a game of S-K-A-T-E, cheats by whacking you in the legs with his board, then spraypaints “GG” on you or the nearest wall before skating off cackling. He tags “GG” everywhere in his wake.

3. Van GoBlin – This impressionist painter chops off other people’s ears. He uses the blood to paint on human-skin canvases, and turns the ears into gruesome ear-rings. These paintings and jewelry are sold in their hard-to-find-unless-you-know-the-way, dark-Tor X-sy shop.

4. Williamsburg Wendy – This fashion influencer sets up a stage in dark alleys and on quiet docks. Here she skins and mutilates a victim to prepare their skin as clothing. She teaches at the local fashion institute, has a ghoulish cut & sew line sold in stores, and her macabre, haute couture, custom-fitted clothing sells for a very high price.

5. Red Hook Reggie – This hipster pirate catches mutated fish in polluted bodies of water, then taxidermies them to sell in his homegoods storefront. He takes the most terrifying catches to his secret lab backroom where he’s creating an army of undead, mutant, frankenstein fish.

6. Brooklyn Banksy – This political artist makes floating domicile installations and aquatic vehicles, like a jet ski made of taxidermied tuna and crabs, using Red Hook Reggie’s fish. These sculpture houseboat flotillas are quite appealing and are free to stay in. The rub is that Brooklyn Banksy lies in wait in one at random to attempt to kill the occupant… this is his true art.

Art: Tiger Wizard  Words: Steve Albertson

Story by: Andrew Bellury, Steve Albertson, CJ Somavia

Appendix N: Carcosa (weird science-fantasy horror setting), Goblin Cock (band), Joe Versus the Volcano (1990), Epic Level’s Goblin Museum from season three of the Mad Dungeon podcast, Mad Max, Waterworld (1995), The Hobbit (2012-2014), Gwar, Bushwick Bill, Silence of the Lambs (1991), Ed Gein, Jack the Ripper, Hudson Hawk (1991), Thirstin Howl the Third, BAIL Magazine, Chad Muska, Demonlover (2002).