Lyrics
Yeah don’t touch my sides just a little off the top
I don’t trust goblinoids to be trimmin my mop
Hobgobby bred beasts body covered by briefs
No shoddy snip jobby least i release
my spell to summon a sizable flyswatter
in my eyes you just a bug cut my hair or I’ll slaughter
Your entire tribe nobody left alive cauze the only good gob
Is chopped up like a chive
Lord of the Bugbears cuts hair
Crew cut or fade will get you laid
Have a seat in this barber chair
That imp looks like a pimp
A brute with shears so beware
Wereboar with a pompadour
Turning squares into Ric Flairs
Hobgoblin gangs with sick bangs
Open for business, 10-foot barber pole
I’ll groom anyone, tengu or troll
Mythril clippers to tame that ‘fro
My beauty school salon bordello
I hustle that hair tussle so you know
I let the shampoo and conditioner flow
I’m the mad stylist that can’t be missed
I twist of my wrist to grant your wish
This Hi-top fade is sharper than a sword archons blade
Now I crusade for pit hair in a braid
Manicure that harpy talon, use gel by the gallon
Shirt open, chest hair, rock that medallion
I’m trapped in this devourers chest for failing my save
Don’t fret friend, I’ll do a two for one shave
I’m the Worm that Walks, can you tame my top
From the roof of my shop I can chop chop chop
I’ve got a bad case of medusan bed head
I’ll sassoon the snakes that are starting to shed
tears have adhered icicles to my Yeti beard
This might get weird. Paige! Bring me my sheers
Lord of the Bugbears cuts hair
Crew cut or fade will get you laid
Have a seat in this barber chair
That imp looks like a pimp
A brute with shears so beware
Wereboar with a pompadour
Turning squares into Ric Flairs
hobgoblin gangs with sick bangs
Give a Vrock a Devil lock
Thanks bugbear barber you rock
Put highlights on a troglodyte
I don’t have hair, but you’re alright
Jheri curl on a dire squirrel
Squeek
Mohawk on a Grimlock
Tell me what it looks like?
Put a perm on that merman
I love a good wave
Weave a rat tail on a flail snail
Now I can whip it more than willow
Bunyips with frosted tips
JT ain’t got nothin on me
Braid cornrows on all these gnolls
Yeenoghu will be pleased